The List

Found this list on a writing forum that I stalk frequent. There are actually two different lists floating around. The first one (the more accurate of the two, in my opinion) can be found here. And somewhere on that page is the link to the original.

I thought it would be fun to make my own version. Some are in jest, some not so much–I’ll let you decide which is which. 😀

  1. Writers will romance you with words: Not likely. I save my romance mojo for my stories, sorry.
  2. Writers will write about you: If I’m writing about you, odds are, it’s NOT in a good, flattering way.
  3. Writers will take you to interesting events: Um, writers leave their offices? Really? I…must have missed that memo.
  4. Writers will remind you that money doesn’t matter so much: Sure doesn’t–as long as you’re buying my books and telling everyone you know to buy them, and stalking them until they do.
  5. Writers will acknowledge you and dedicate things to you: By ‘acknowledge’ do you mean using the puppy-dog eyes on you when I need things like refills? No? Oh, well, then no. Not so much. As for dedications, I’ll list an agent, editor, publisher, CP, Romance Divas, and the people who’ve offered to brow-beat my characters into submission. If there’s room, then I *may* consider adding you. But probably not.
  6. Writers will offer you an interesting perspective on things: If by ‘things’ you mean my stories, yes, probably. I like talking about my stories and my characters. And I like complaining about their narcissistic ways, too. Which I can do. Non-stop. For hours.
  7. Writers are smart: ‘Nuff said.
  8. Writers are really passionate: Of course I am. …about my stories.
  9. Writers can think through their feelings: No. So many ways no. Do you not know why I’m a writer? Have you read my stories? Really? And you STILL think that’s true?
  10. Writers enjoy their solitude: Definitely. I love being alone. With my stories. And my computer, music, soda, and possibly junk food if the story allows for mealtime.
  11. Writers are creative: Yes, yes I am. Just keep that in mind when you piss me off, kay?
  12. Writers wear their hearts on their sleeves: I do, it’s true. But if you abuse that fact, just remember I carry pens and I’ll likely stab you with them and then be able to come up with a really convincing lie for how the ‘accident’ really happened.
  13. Writers will teach you cool new words: And I’ll probably make up a few to suit my stories.
  14. Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for you: Being able to do something and being willing to do something are two very different things…
  15. Writers can find 1000 ways to tell you why they like you: And I can find 1,000 ways to kill you off at any given time. I’m very good at research and I have friends who are very good at research.
  16. Writers communicate in a bunch of different ways: There’s email, and…email. Oh, and texting! I’m a pro when it comes to texting.
  17. Writers can work from anywhere: Can and will. Note the difference in words. However, if you get me a new laptop, I’ll promise to be more open about leaving my office. Maybe.
  18. Writers are surrounded by interesting people: Every last one of whom is imaginary. <--This was too perfect not to keep. So I'll add a big Ditto.
  19. Writers are easy to buy gifts for: Yes, yes I am. But easy does not equal cheap. I could use a new laptop, printer, ink, paper, a comfortable chair…
  20. Writers are sexy: Got that one right.

3 Responses

  1. ha, yeah, i agree with the email, email and texting. before you could order pizza on the internet my husband and i would discuss ordering pizza and then give up because neither one of us was willing to call lol. and he’s not even a writer. nice list.

    a

    • Lanie

      Yeah. We’re the same way. It’s like that 5 minute call (4 of which is waiting on hold) is going to kill us. Instead, we spend 20 minutes complaining about not eating, lol. We’re strange, strange people.

      Thanks for posting, AJ!

  2. Sasha Devlin

    I may or may not resemble these remarks. #15 is SO me.