I Dream Of…

Ellen DeGeneres. This is the second time, too.

The first time was a year or so ago and very similar to last night’s. In both, I was on her show for being a kick-butt author (not that I’m saying I am, mind you). Another thing they shared was, as I walked out onto the stage, I fell on my butt. Yup. That’s definitely in Lanie fashion.

And something that happened that is most definitely NOT in Lanie fashion..I was witty. Like, down right amusing. Sure, I can be funny–on accident. But in front of a lot of people? In front of ANY people? Ha. Not happening.

I had a job where I sold knives and had to do demonstrations pretty much every day in a different city each week and…I won’t even tell you how many times I cut myself or stuttered incoherently or shook or just plain forgot what the heck I was doing. And in case you didn’t know, sharp implements + Lanie + crowds of people = blood shed. Mine. Not theirs.

So, while a part of me would be absolutely thrilled to be invited on the Ellen show (because I <3 her so and she's so funny and if I was ever brave enough to go on TV if asked, it'd be for her), another part would be scared to death. I was on a TV show once when I was a kid (I won't say when or where or why, so don't ask) and even then I bombed (though I did it in a non-make-an-ass-of-myself fashion, thankfully). What about you? Any wild-yet-cool dreams? Are there any TV shows you'd go on if invited?

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